Life is Confusing, 46 Days

“Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him.” John 12:25-26

Sooo, I’m either going to be single for the rest of my life or my future husband will definitely be a true follower in Jesus Christ.

After committing my life to following Him, each day seems to be getting worse and worse in a sense where I’m learning and realizing the truth.

I found an article this morning from May 2014 written by Rick Warren. He said:

***”Serving is the opposite of our natural inclination. Most of the time we’re more interested in ‘serve us’ than service. We say ‘I’m looking for a church that meets my needs and blesses me,’ not ‘I’m looking for a place to serve and be a blessing.’ We expect others to serve us, not vice versa.”

***”As we mature in Christ, the focus of our lives should increasingly shift to living a life of service. The mature follower of Jesus stops asking, ‘Who’s going to meet my needs?’ and starts asking, ‘Who’s needs can I meet?’

I find myself asking God a lot of the time, “why did You bring me here to China?” These boys I’ve been trying to teach are beyond unteachable and quite the opposite of potential discipleship. I tried to tell them the importance of this weekend being Easter, but they seemed to be more entertained with the fact that this weekend in China is a national “Tomb Sweeping” holiday.

All I know is, I’m here, this is where I’m supposed to be, though I have no idea why… A good mentor of mine gave me a good reminder this morning… These boys just need to be shown God’s love.

I’ve been in China for about five months now, and during my time here I’ve learned so much about life I almost wish I could just forget it all and bask in the blissful ignorance. But I guess in all honesty, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

It all comes down to this. Jesus came to save the world. Though I’ve never shaken his hand, I do believe in him, because believing in Jesus has power. Power that brings people together, power that loves, that inspires, that fills that void when you admit to yourself “something’s missing.”

I’m counting down the days. Tomorrow marks 46. But I know even after I leave China things are not going to be the same. All I know is this. It’s my duty to be a loving, selfless serving individual. Where to go next I do not know yet wish I did… Only God knows.

2 thoughts on “Life is Confusing, 46 Days

  1. Doubt you’re going to be single fir the rest of your life…but a true follower of Christ is hard to find, for sure. I’ve had a “hard reality” check in the past few months, too, sister, just know you’re not the only one. Crazy that the Lord would come down to earth to get involved in our mess, but He did!
    -Dave (“Denominator”…He must increase, “I” must decrease. He = 1/I)


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s